


The Burglar's Upset

by BookshopLaura



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: M/M, bagginshield
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-04-09 13:26:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4350515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookshopLaura/pseuds/BookshopLaura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo realises he has feelings for Thorin, but is convinced that Thorin couldn't possibly reciprocate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this is my first venture into Bagginshield. I'm not giving up on Merthur, never fear. But I've been writing Arthur & Merlin for a while now and I wanted to try and see if I could capture some different characters and their mannerisms and motivations etc. Thorin is a very different king from Arthur. He's far more serious and stoic. And Bilbo is so far from Merlin it's far easier to list their similarities than their differences. Also the group dynamic of the dwarves adds a challenge. So let me know if I fail and how badly and I will reassess. As always virtual cookies for comments, as well as my eternal gratitude for any feedback. :)

Bilbo feels foolish. He's already the odd one out, the strange little Burgler in his comfortable hobbit clothing next to the dwarves in their armour and leather coats. But it's not just that. It's Thorin. Thorin has a very direct, very intense look. And Bilbo thinks it would be very difficult for someone not to be affected by this look. Certainly he can see the loyalty it inspires in the other dwarves, but he guesses that he's the only one whose heart hammers when Thorin looks right at them. Who has to keep looking away when Thorin graces him with that warm smile.

He remembers how hurt he felt when Thorin had said he didn't belong anywhere but his comfy bed. Remembers how he'd needed to prove to Thorin that he was wrong. How even when he'd had the chance to walk away, to turn back, he hadn't, he couldn't. Because then Thorin would think he was right. He cared for the others, of course he did. And he probably would have gone with them anyway. But it's Thorin's words that stuck in his throat, letting Thorin down that stung so much. So he'd stepped out, revealed himself, and glanced to see. To see the surprise on Thorin's face.

But it was more than that. He'd thrown himself at an orc, an orc bigger even than a human, let alone a dwarf or a hobbit, to save Thorin. He'd do it again too, to save Thorin, and that shocks even Bilbo. When Thorin had hugged him in thanks he'd been surprised, and hoped that the other dwarfs couldn't see the way his cheeks coloured as he stood there awkwardly.

And now as he sat here, staring at the fire, the Lonely Mountain still days away, he tried not to think about how that hug had felt or how it was only a few days and a lot of danger before his whole adventure might be over and he'd be sent back home with some gold and a fond farewell. How he'd have to try not not to think about how every step was taking him further and further from Thorin. Thorin would forget him. How could Thorin feel anything for a homely hobbit who loved his creature comforts? Besides he'd have a kingdom to run, new duties and works to be getting on with. Bilbo prods viciously at his stew and fails not to think about how much that makes his heart ache.

"You're awfully quiet tonight, master Burglar" says Dwalin, quietly over the general murmur of the dwarf chatter. Bilbo looks up, and he can see the concern on Dwalin's face. He smiles a sad smile.

"It's fine. It doesn't matter." he says, shrugging, and forcing himself to impale a piece of meat and try to eat it. Chewing it is difficult. Partly because he's not particularly hungry, and partly because it's a particularly chewy piece of meat. He forces himself to look up again and smile a little at Dwalin. It wouldn't do to have the dwarf prying into his feelings, besides if there's anything worse than falling for a dwarf who would never love you, then there's pining like a lovesick adolescent over a dwarf who could never love you. Thorin would definitely send him home if he suspected.

Dwalin considers him, seems placated, and then is addressed by Thorin who is the other side of Dwalin. Bilbo takes this as an oportunity to let his guard down again. Bofur beside him on the other side is too distracted by food to talk, and everyone else is either eating or chatting to someone else. But just as Bilbo's drifting off into self indulgent, self pity again, he hears Thorin speak.

"Bilbo, might I speak with you, in private?" Thorin has already stood up and the others are glancing up to look at the both of them. But Thorin's look is serious and of those who've looked up there's only mild, innocent curiosity. Thorin doesn't wait for Bilbo to move though, and heads towards the trees, expecting Bilbo to follow. So he does, having to jog a little to catch up. As soon as they're out of earshot of the group, Thorin turns to him and fixes him with the stare that makes Bilbo feel weak at the knees, and he has to glance away.

"So, are you going to tell me what it is that's been plaguing you these last three days?" he asks, no more demands.

"I... I don't know what you mean?" says Bilbo, but he can't meet Thorin's eyes.

"Don't play the fool with me, hobbit. Everyone's noticed. Dwalin's mentioned it, Bofur more than once, and Kili too. They think you're having doubts. I admit I was harsh with you to begin with, but you've proven yourself already, there's no need to doubt yourself now." Bilbo smiles a little. Thorin, and the others have noticed his mood. And they've worried, they've cared. How long will they care when they realise the cause he doesn't know. So he shakes his head.

"It's not that, Thorin." 

"You're homesick." says Thorin bluntly.

"I know, I understand. And you will return, I promise..." Bilbo can't help but laugh at the irony of that. That Thorin is urging him on the point of their departure. His laughter turns into a frown as he thinks about it, and he shakes his head again.

"No, Thorin. It's not Bag End, or the Shire. Please, it's not something I can... it's a private matter... discussing it will only cause ... more problems. It's best left alone." Bilbo finds his hand wanders to his pocket, touching at the ring to calm himself. 

"You have scarce spoken two words together since yesterday evening. The expression on your face says someone has died. I cannot see how discussing it can make the matter worse." says Thorin, his arms unfolding and moving to hold Bilbo's cross arms at the elbows. His face close to Bilbo's. 

His eyes are so distractingly close, his breath teasing along Bilbo's cheeks and his grip on Bilbo demands attention. But Bilbo can't think of what to say. Whatever way he tries to phrase it in his mind, it comes out wrong. "I'm in love with you." "I like you." "I know I'm a country hobbit from the shire who loves the quiet life and food, and gardening and you're a majestic dwarf King determined to fight wars to reclaim his mountain kingdom, but do you think we might have a future?" Every variation seems as pathetic as the next, but Thorin is still there, his eyes still demanding an answer of some kind. So, heart thundering in his ears, he decides that it's all or nothing, and presses his lips against Thorin's. Thorin's mouth is solid beneath his, unmoving, unresponsive. His beard tickles against Bilbo's mouth until he's pulling away, eyes wide in shock. For a moment Bilbo looks at him. Thorin just stares at him. But then Bilbo can't hold Thorin's gaze anymore, and drops it in shame. 

"I'm... I'm sorry, Thorin. I said... I knew...I didn't mean to make things..." Bilbo gives up on trying to articulate how he feels, because it's too painful and too complicated, and he's ruined everything anyway, so he just steps away, and starts walking away. But it's not enough. Glancing back at the still unmoved Thorin, he breaks into a run and heads into the trees, tears now running down his cheeks. 

After a moment he hears the sound of footsteps, and then Thorin's voice.

"Bilbo? Bilbo!" But he can't face him. Can't face his anger, or his disgust. Or even his pity. Barely glancing over his shoulder again, he darts behind a tree and sticks his hand in his pocket. Feeling around he finds the ring in a moment, and slips it on. Immediately the world waters down to the greyer shimmering light and sound of the ring. It feels safe, cacooned. He rests back against the tree and waits for Thorin to run by. He hears him approach, hears the footsteps, and then Thorin is rounding the tree, eyes bright, fierce, searching. His brow knits in consternation, and he looks around confused, then walks up to the next tree in front and glances around it. Then another to the right, and across to the left. He runs his hands through his hair.

"Bilbo! Bilbo!" he shouts, the cry defeaning, into the woods around him. He looks angry, his teeth almost gritted and Bilbo's lip wobbles to see him this angry. He's only glad the Thorin can't see him like this, can't see how much this is hurting him. 

By now Thorin is stood in the clearing directly in front of him, yelling Bilbo's name to the wood at large. But as Bilbo watches, Thorin's hand goes to his mouth, and his eyebrows draw together. But it's not anger, it's worry. Thorin's worried about him. He's tempted to take the ring off. Maybe he does feel the same way. If he tales off the ring, will Thorin run to him and embrace him? He's fingering the ring, running it round and round his finger, when the sound of other footsteps signal the arrival of the other dwarves. 

"What's the matter? Where's Bilbo?" asks Bofur.

"He ran off." say Thorin bluntly.

"Why did he run of?" asks Kili, frowning at his Uncle.

"He... I made him talk about something he did not wish to discuss..."

"The thing that's bothering him?" asks Dwalin, raising his eyebrows. Thorin merely nods, and doesn't meet his eyes for very long.

He hasn't told them, thinks Bilbo. He doesn't want them to know. 

"Best probably to leave him be then. He's been miserable for a while lad, let him vent it a little. Then he'll be back." Thorin seems to think about it, then nods glumly and joins the group as they head back to the camp fire. As they walk, he turns to look back, eyes still searching. Bilbo, watching from behind the tree, watches him go.


	2. Chapter 2

He returns when the rest of the group are just moving to go to sleep. Although a small group are standing apparently discussing something serious. Thorin has his back to him, whilst Dwalin is to his left and Kili to his right. Kili spots him first, touching Thorin's shoulder and nodding towards Bilbo. Thorin turns to face him and Bilbo finds himself frowning again, pushing his arms down straight at his side, pushing the heels of his palms towards the floor. But he has to keep it together, so he walks over to where his pack lays on the ground waiting and kneels down. 

"Bilbo," says Thorin, who's suddenly by his side. Bilbo pauses with his hands on the straps and looks to the side but not up at Thorin. He can't, not yet. 

"Yes, Thorin." he says, and impresses himself with how calm he sounds. 

"I think we should speak, in private." 

"Really? After last time..." says Bilbo, and he can feel a lump in his throat fighting up, so he busies himself with fiddling with his pack strap, which is suddenly far more complicated than he remembers. He feels a strong hand suddenly clasp his wrist, and a voice a lot closer and quieter than he realised says

"It is about the last time that I wish to speak." 

"Are... are you sending me home?" asks Bilbo, frozen.

"I would rather not have this conversation here." says Thorin, tightly. A sudden rush of movement and the sound of voices highlights their previous absence. Bilbo looks up and around. Most of the dwarves are busying themselves getting their packs ready, but they are all decidedly NOT looking at him or Thorin. Except Kili who glances up, catches Bilbo's eye, then immediately looks away as if he's been caught doing something wrong. 

"Come on, burglar." says Thorin, his hand still on Bilbo, and Bilbo looks up at the sound of that name. Thorin is staring off into the distance, decidedly not at Bilbo. Frowning in confusion, Bilbo lets himself be pulled up and led back into the woods, away from the others. They've only gone a few metres when Thorin drops his hand and Bilbo can't help the way his mind conjures the thought of Thorin shoving him against a tree and kissing him. But Thorin doesn't, and Bilbo feels a fool for letting such a though occur to him. So he just stands there, blinking, and holding his arms stiffly by his side. 

Thorin stops after a few more steps, and puts his hands on his hips. 

"I..." he stops, glancing to the side, but not turning to look at Bilbo. 

"Your... you caught me by surprise." he says eventually. 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..." starts Bilbo. 

"I didn't say that." says Thorin suddenly, turning around, dropping his hands. And he's got that look in his eyes again. That look which makes Bilbo's heart race, which usually he can't hold. But now, although it's almost unbearable, Bilbo finds he can't look away. Because there's something more to it than before too. 

"Are you... are you saying..." says Bilbo, suddenly finding it hard to speak. But it's occurring to him that it's not just him. Because for a moment Thorin seems to be rallying his own courage and then he's stepping towards Bilbo and Bilbo thinks, it's happening he's going to kiss him. 

Thorin stops in front of him, merely a foot away, and he's still holding the look. A strange, serious, searching look. 

"What I want... what I need to know, is why your... feelings for me, why did they make you so sad?" Bilbo steps back, breaking the look, breathing deeply. 

"What?" he asks. 

"You have spent a day in mourning because you realised how... how you felt for me. Is it such a terrible thing to realise? Are you promised to someone already? Or is it that you are... revolted by your own feelings." Bilbo looks back up, frowning. 

"What, no..." starts Bilbo, but Thorin continues. 

"I know by Hobbit standards a dwarf might not be handsome. I saw no Hobbit's of our stature, nor any with beards, but surely we are not so unseemly..." 

"Thorin, it's not... I was sad, because I didn't think... I didn't think you would feel the same... And one day I would have to leave you..." say Bilbo finally managing to glance back up at Thorin, who is watching him intently. 

"You...you were sad, at the thought of leaving me?" says Thorin. 

"Yes." says Bilbo, and he's barely finished saying it, when he feels Thorin wrapping him in a tight hug again, even lifting him a little off the ground, before pressing a kiss to the side of his head, and then he presses one to Bilbo's lips. 

"Ay!" 

Bilbo breaks the kiss, burying his head in Thorin's shoulder as he hears the cry go up behind them. He can't see them, but in his mind he can picture them, all crowded round the trees behind him. 

"They're literally all watching, aren't they." he says. 

"Yes." mutters Thorin, gently lowering Bilbo to his feet, before shouting. "Right, everyone, back to camp! Kili, you're meant to be on watch! Fili, those horse better be tethered and fed!"

And in an instant Thorin is back to being the leader he was born to be, and Bilbo almost feels like a spell is broken as he stands there. Until he feels a hand slip into his, and start pulling him back to camp. Then he smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how I feel about this ending, I know I abandoned it for too long due to life stuff, but feel free to post any constructive crit about bits that didn't work/ it's too cliche etc.


End file.
